You know those times when you have soooooo many essays to write
that you know you can't finish them all on time? And, you tend to think
to yourself... "Could I have any more work to do???" Then, as a joke you
exclaim to someone... "Wouldn't it be funny if I actually had FOUR
papers due tomorrow instead of three but happened to completely forget
about one?" Without realizing an ominous soundtrack has started to
play, you go about your day never quite comprehending how you should
have knocked on wood to prevent what is about to happen in ...
3...2...1.
You open your folder and almost jokingly shoot a quick glance at
the essay assignments on the second page of your syllabus. Stop me here
if you know where I'm going with this... All of a sudden you have that
sick feeling creeping up the back of your throat as you realize that 5
May 2006 is no other date than TOMORROW. How, you ask yourself, did your
syllabus change the day your paper was due all of a sudden?? Blasphemy!
You could have SWORN that it was due 12 May, as in NEXT Friday. But, nooooo, no luck for you because the education gods hate you.
Oh, my brilliant luck...
So, the question you should be asking yourself now is... "Heather,
why are you writing this when there is so
much work to be done???" Well, my friend, that is a valid question. But,
it's like asking why a condemned man would eat his last meal. Does he
really need a full stomach to be put to death? Will he be hungry in the
afterlife if he does not eat? I think not. So, when you are confronted
with utter demise, it seems that the only logical thing to do is to
distract your over imaginative mind from your future fate by indulging in
whatever simple pleasures you can find.
Ok, I'll admit that analogy was a bit of a stretch, but you get my
point. I had to stop by to distract myself from the "dead man walking"
shouts that are echoing off the walls so that I could relay my last
words: FOR THE LOVE OF SLICED BREAD!
Don't worry your pretty little heads too much. I'm quite clever.
I'm sure I'll think of something. They'll never take me alive. I will
laugh in the face of my executioners...
Or, I will grovel at their feet and beg them to take my papers late
because I am but their humble student slave who has but a feeble mind
and therefore cannot keep up with so many due dates.
You know, whatever.
